Captain Andrew Luck is a hilarious Twitter account dedicated to Andrew Luck, the former pro-bowl QB for the Indianapolis Colts who retired abruptly weeks before the 2019 NFL season kicked off. This account imagines life from the all-star QB as a Civil War officer, writing home to tell his "Dearest mother" the latest news on his season. Over the course of its three years, this account generated over 530K followers and countless musings on squirrel oil, raccoon knuckles, and other battlefield delights. In his retirement letter, Capt. Andrew waxed poetic about his return to the family farm, and reminisced about his comrades in a fitting end to this legendary account.