What's your best tweet?
I think therefore i twit. [full disclosure: i have never twitted this twit.]... (ellipsis added for emphasize.)
What are six things you could never do without?
Air, water, fire, food, shelter and carmel.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I have no professional life. Unless you are talking about the oldest profession in the world.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Twitter or Facebook?
Oh, come on! Get with the times! Twitting and FBing are so 2011. Everyone is skywriting now.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
I've never seen a funny trend. Unless your talking about twitter.
What feature should Twitter add?
For a small fee you should be able to rent high quality threshing machines, silos and livestock.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Ha, ha! very funny. No one cool doesn't already follow me.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
yes. myself. for being a copycat.
Why should we vote for you?
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
I have connected with my keyboard, primarily.
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
How do you make your tweets unique?
What inspires you to tweet?
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Do not fall victim to these arbitrary constraints! 140 symbols? What diety dictated that our poetic vision ends at measly 140 characters? FU.
How long can you go without a tweet?
forever. How about you? Huh? yeah! that fries your circuits doesn't it, sucker.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
Why are you still typing?
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I imagine one day that twitter will be something that thoughtful people will care about. But i'm a dreamer.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
myself. And you, of course. (because i'm being a lickspittle.)
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
i don't follow anyone, so.... God.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That it's an agricultural website.
Why should people follow you?
Because I have unusually long cuticles.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
Nope. Because i don't follow anyone. If you are going to keep asking questions. I'm going to quit. I feel like i am being waterboarded.
How do you decide what to tweet?
This is the longest Q & A i have ever been subjected to. I decide what to tweet based on a complex demographically generated algorithm.
How do you use social media to motivate yourself or others to live a healthier life?
i make sure no photo is posted that doesn't depict me with a twinky in my hand.
How has social media helped bring your family closer together and #keepgoodgoing?
My family learns of 1 another's indiscretions online. &, i started Random Acts using social media &, no joke, i'm proud of what we've done!
Why'd you start tweeting?
i was curious what this whole twitting thing was about.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
absolutely. it has made my average paragraph shorter.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
How will the world change in the next year?
It won't. This will stand out as the year that absolutely nothing changed. mark my words.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
One thing i would tell all new twitters is: Don't answer stupid questions.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
a soft pillow made of stones.