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What's your best tweet?
My next one... no, sorry, the one after that
Share on TwitterWhat are six things you could never do without?
the Slinky, dark chocolate, the letter Z, a fourth thing, a fifth thing, lists with too many answers for me
Twitter or Facebook?
Correct.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
The increase in followers of Duhism!
What feature should Twitter add?
Pay $100 per follower. Per day.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
profounditudenessity
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
I wouldn't say "unfollowed" as much as I'd say "honoring the terms of the restraining order."
Why should we vote for you?
It will guarantee you a rebirth in Newark, NJ... near the Burger King
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Wisdumb
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
I met Rembrandt and he invited me for lunch. We went Dutch.
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
How do you make your tweets unique?
I rearrange the letters of the English alphabet until they spell out something different.
What inspires you to tweet?
Tweeting attracts followers to Duhism. And with enough Duhism followers, I'll never have to do yardwork again.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Only after eating beans.
140 characters of advice for a new user?
I beg of you, don't tell me how to get 10,000 followers when you have 8
How long can you go without a tweet?
"How long can I go?" That's rather personal. Let's just say my wife, Bobbie Sue Tzu, has never complained.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
What is the ultimate purpose of yellow?
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I imagine it merging with a purple unicorn until it bursts into a universe-eating kaleidoscope. But I had "mushrooms" on my pizza tonight.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
Given what I've seen, I'm pretty sure it's a "his" and not a "his or her"
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That it's full of fictional characters
Why should people follow you?
Following Duhism will bring about a new era in human evolution. Oh, wait, that's Scientology. Follow me for the unspirational Wisdumb.
Why'd you start tweeting?
To share the Impractical Wisdumb of the faux-losophy of Duhism
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Were it not for Twitter, I would have no life... literally.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
Tell me what they're eating, going to eat, or just ate. Nobody on Twitter ever talks about that.
How will the world change in the next year?
Following the advice of high school friends of The World, written in The World's yearbook, it won't ever change
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Using French to sound smart
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
We'll have flying cars, free energy, jet packs... oh, wait, that was 10 years AGO
