What's your best tweet?
The one where I upset Indonesia was a cracker.
What are six things you could never do without?
Beer and Lucy The Barmaid. That's about it really.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
You are assuming I have a professional life.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Twitter or Facebook?
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Flares and platform boots.
What feature should Twitter add?
The ability to remotely electrocute trolls and fakes.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
This is a LONG questionnaire. Are we nearly done?
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
I speak the English language as The Queen intends. No need for text speak. LOL.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
The King of Belgium would be cool.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
Oh yes. Fakes and plagiarists tend to go. And Australian journalist bitches called Jill.
Why should we vote for you?
Because I am lovely. End of.
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Free Tibet with every purchase.
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
GPD on Twitter has allowed me to travel the world, meet new people and annoy them...
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#Never use them. Should I?
How do you make your tweets unique?
Make up as much as I can.
What inspires you to tweet?
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Called out? Me no understandy.
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Don't engage with idiots. Simples.
How long can you go without a tweet?
Ages. Twenty seconds at least.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I expect the quota of silly persons to continue its unstoppable rise.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
The British Prime Minister. He is a scream.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
Why should people follow you?
14,000 people can't all be wrong.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
How do you decide what to tweet?
I go to the pub and let inspiration and Stella Artois guide me.
Why'd you start tweeting?
The world was missing out on me.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
Talk about things they actually know about.
How will the world change in the next year?
America will attack Iran. Iran will attack Israel. We all die in a nuclear holocaust, so not much really.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
I managed to upset Indonesia once. Big time.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
See my previous answer about next years nuclear holocaust.