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What's your best tweet?
That's like asking Picasso, "What's your best painting?" to which he would reply, "That one with the really weird face."
Share on TwitterWhat are six things you could never do without?
Chinchillas, books on basket weaving, turmeric, hypertrichosis lanuginosa, the ability to count.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I just make sure my boss isn't looking. It isn't that difficult.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
I don't need apps. Apps are for mama's boys and out-of-work ventriloquists.
Twitter or Facebook?
Neither is as good as DanOfTheDay.com. Just sayin.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Gulf Oil Spill - so hilarious!
What feature should Twitter add?
Twitter needs a little column over on the right that constantly displays the @DanOfTheDay feed.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
I wish God had a Twitter feed, because I'd really like to know what he eats every day.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
Brevity is the soul of wit. Pus is the soul of a zit.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Justin Bieber. He's just so talented and nice.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
I once unfollowed my mother. Restraining order and all.
Why should we vote for you?
Because I am humble! Really, really, really humble! Man, I hate groveling...
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Nightstick, battery-operated can openers, chile verde, poppycock, Olive-headed Lorikeet. Stuff like that.
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
Once I saw this really funny retweet, and when I went to retweet it I realized I was the original tweeter!
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#DanOfTheDay. Pretty sure it will become widespread as soon as people hear about it.
How do you make your tweets unique?
Same way I didn't get caught plagiarizing in college - change a few words here and there.
What inspires you to tweet?
Every day I get up, look in the mirror, and think, "Man, I would be depriving the world of genius if I didn't tweet today."
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Does Chuck Norris ever get called out for killing people too much?
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Follow @DanOfTheDay and no one else. Tell your friends to follow me. Set up an account for your grandma and have her follow me. Is that 140?
How long can you go without a tweet?
The question is how long can YOU go without one of my tweets? The answer is not very long, because you would die.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
What? Oh, I thought that was a rhetorical question.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
With my brain. Duh.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
I think the most amazing user of Twitter is me. I always use 140 characters or less and hit the Tweet button. Awesome!
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
Me. I'm pretty much the funniest person I know. Heck, I'm the funniest person you know.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
Everybody thinks Twitter is about hearing what people have to say, but it's not - It's about hearing what I have to say.
Why should people follow you?
If you're looking for a humble tweeter, and I mean pure, self-abasing modesty, then I am your man.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
I can name one: @DanOfTheDay. Wait, can I even follow myself? That should definitely be allowed, because I'm getting screwed if not.
How do you decide what to tweet?
Divine inspiration. That, and Laffy Taffys.
Why'd you start tweeting?
Popular demand.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
No. I change my life, and everything else adjusts accordingly.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
I wish people would make more pancakes on Twitter, because honestly, couldn't the world use more flapjacks?
How will the world change in the next year?
2011 will be the year when I finally receive worldwide recognition for my abject humility.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Using fancy words like "faux pas." I know what it means, but most other people don't.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
I've given up hope on flying cars, so let's go with robot/human wars.
